


Army of Us

by seikidoshi



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Peter Parker/Wade Wilson - Fandom, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spiderman - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Help, Humour, Hurt, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Spideypool - Freeform, how this works, idk - Freeform, long read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikidoshi/pseuds/seikidoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker definitely didn't imagine this when he decided to befriend Wade Wilson, the mercenary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Dang, son, this is my first literary piece I published. Criticism is welcome.

Everything usually went well for Peter when he was fighting crime. 

Usually. 

He stood on top of a building in New York city, overlooking the bustling people and the many lights of the skyline. It must've been around eleven o'clock at night. The city was still bustling with life.

Crime fighting had eased a little since Peter discovered his abilities. It's only been pety crimes this week. People stealing from stores, or from other people. The most major crime he's had this week was a gang attempting to mug an old lady. 

"I better get home," Peter mumbled to himself. "It's a school night."

He walked towards the edge of the building, preparing to web onto the opposite building on the other side of the street, wanting to get home. 

"Holy chimichangas, it's SPIDERMAN!" A voice exclaimed behind him.

Peter sighed, knowing exactly who the voice belonged to. I mean, who wouldn't? The guy wouldn't shut up if it meant saving his life.

Peter reluctantly turned around, looking at a certain mercenary wearing a god awful Spiderman shirt over his costume, and a hat that read 'I LOVE SPIDERMAN' in big bold letters. 

"Hello, Wade." Peter sighed. "What do you want this time?"

"Your autograph, of course." The mercenary replied, taking out a pen and picture of Spiderman from behind him and pushing them towards Peter. The picture was a bit blurry, and it was of Peter in full costume, trying to block the lense with his hand, but Wade was very persistant that night.

[Where'd we get those?]

"We have pouches." Deadpool replied. 

**(Pouches do come in handy.)**

"Well said, yellow box . . . er . . . 'parentheses'. I liked you better when you were a box. Maybe it just makes sense to the storyline." Deadpool chided.

Peter frowned. "Who're you talking to?"

Wade waved his hand dismissively. "It's nothing, Pete. So can I have your autograph now?"

**(Didn't we already do that?)**

"Oh yeah!" Wade suddenly yelled, startling Peter. "We already asked for his autograph in the Amazing Spiderman #611!"

[He never finished signing it, though.]

"Don't worry, brackets." Wade assured. "We'll get it."

Peter was confused. "I don't underst-"

Wade shushed him. "Brackets wants your autograph, baby boy."

[I missed it when I was a white box.]

"Please don't call me that." Peter whined. 

**(He likes it.)**

"Sign it, Petey-pie." Wade gestured to the pen and picture. It wasn't much of a better nickname, but Peter knew he wasn't going to convince Wade to call him something else. 

[Tell him to make it out to, 'To Brackets, by your old pal, Spiderman.']

(Too late, he already signed it out to Deadpool.)

Wade clutched the picture over his heart and sighed dreamily. "My poor fanboy heart. Hey, Pete, why don't you say I take you out for some hot dogs?"

(He's gone.)

"You know, parentheses, I wonder what baby boy looks like under the mask." Wade said, approaching the edge of the building and looking at Peter swinging away. 

[I hope he's hot.]

"Me too, brackets."

**(He's got a nice ass.)**

[He's totally a twink.]

"I have a good idea." Wade grinned. "Let's see where Petey lives!"

**(This is probably not going to end well.)**

"That's part of the adventure, Parentheses." Wade grinned under his mask.

 

* * *

 

Peter got home from school the next morning. He walked into the apartment he and Aunt May shared, tired. He set his skateboard onto the side, near the door and tossed his backpack onto the ground. Luckily, Peter got home without any bruises from Flash Thompson. All he did today was insult him. Besides that, the day was a blur. 

He opened the fridge and grabbed the half-empty carton of orange juice. He poured it into the glass and started drinking it. He leaned against the counter and stared at the ground for awhile. Then he glanced at the clock on the microwave. Ten after four. It's a Thursday, Aunt May is working late tonight. 

He sipped his orange juice absentmindedly. His thoughts suddenly drifted to Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth. Why the hell was Wade so obsessed with Peter? It's like that guy had a crush on him or something.

Peter made a disgusted face, and put the now put the empty glass in the sink and walked to his bedroom with his backpack. Peter logged into his computer, looking at his desktop photo. It was of him and Gwen Stacy. He smiled faintly. Then Peter opened up the file and started to work on his essay.

Once he finished it, it was nearly seven. Peter undressed down to his boxers and pulled his mask on. 

"Duty calls." He yawns as he starts to put the rest of his suit on. 

Sometimes, juggling an education, friends, and being Spiderman was all too much. Sometimes, Peter just feels like not getting out of bed in the morning. Sometimes,-

"Hey, Pete!" Peter heard Wade's voice call from the window.

Startled, Peter tripped over, with half his costume on. His heart was beating rapidly. He looked over to see Deadpool, with his hands on his hips, looking around the bedroom. 

"So this is where Spiderman lives." Wade mumbled, nodding in approval, as he scanned the bedroom. 

"W-WADE!" Peter exclaimed, his face feeling hot as he realised that Deadpool barged in on Peter half naked. The thought of Wade knowing where Peter lived was the last thing on Peter's mind. Right now, his first priority was feeling exposed, and vulnerable. And  _naked_. Especially that.

Peter squeezed into the rest of his costume. "Wade!" Peter stood.

Wade leaned against Peter's window and played with a knife. "Dang, Pete. Don't you think this room is a bit-" He paused and glanced at the poster of the wet swimsuit model on his wall. "Horny high school boy type?"

"G-Get out, Wade!" Peter stuttered, pointing a finger at the Mercenary, feeling a blush creeping on his cheeks. 

Wade put his hands out in front of him. "Woah, calm down, baby boy. Don't web me up. You're going to leave anyway, right? Spidey duties?"

"How did you find out where I live?" Peter asked, panic on the edge of his tone. A  _mercenary_ knew where Peter lived. He could easily get him killed, or sell his address to villains, harming him, and most importantly, Aunt May. 

"I followed you." Wade shrugged nonchalantly. 

Peter's fists clenched. "G-Get out, Deadpool."

**(We saw Spiderman half naked.)**

"I know, he looked totes hot. Even though we only saw his chest." Wade agreed, tilting his head, admiring Spiderman's muscles, the way they fit perfectly under the spandex, and how they rippled. 

[I told ya he's a twink.]

"We never disagreed." Wade stated. 

"You know what, Wade?" Peter said, clearly exasperated. "I'm tired of this- this whole 'talking to yourself', act. It's  _annoying_. Why don't you do the world a favour and just stop. Okay? Because no one will pity you if you keep up with this 'I'm a mental patient' gig. Seriously."

Peter pushed past Deadpool and webbed himself away from the apartment. Wade could only watch with a hurt expression as he webbed away. 

 **(Ouch.)**  

[Yeesh. Who knew Spidey could be such a jerk?]

"No he's not, you guys." Deadpool argued. "Maybe he's- I don't know, on his period or something."

[Clever. With the whole 'red suit' thing.]

 **(Maybe that's how Lady D gets by.)**  

[Do healing factors not make you have periods?]

"Can it, you guys." Deadpool muttered. 

[What's wrong?]

"Not in the mood." Wade grumbled, climbing out of Peter's window and onto the fire escape. Wade made his to the top of the building and looked at New York's sunset. Wade breathed in the air. It smelled like car exhaust and greasy food. 

[Not quite like Canada, is it?]

**(You know what I alway wondered? Who the hell cleans up after Pete when he's webbing all over New York city? Do they just leave the webs there? I mean, it'd be a good idea to trace the webs back to his apartment.)**

"You've always been a philosopher, parentheses." Deadpool commented. 

Wade climbed down from the top of the building and started walking down the sidewalk, getting strange looks from people passing. Of course they weren't your average 'Jesus fuck what happened to his face' looks, they were 'why the hell is he wearing a red and black costume' or 'why does he have so many weapons? Is that allowed?' Wade was used to it by now. 

[We should try and find Pete.]

"I'm sure he's fine." Wade muttered. "I think I should stay away from him for awhile."

**(What? Why** **?)**

Wade shrugged.

[But Wade, we know you have-]

"Quiet!" Wade snapped. Then he turned sad again. "I swear on my healing factor he doesn't like me back. Who would? I'm a freak."

 **(You sound like a teenage girl.)**  

[A tumblr girl.]

 **(Watch what you say. They're going to leave angry comments on this story.)**  

[I know what we can do for Spidey!]

Wade perked his head up. "Go on . . ."

 

 

 


	2. Attempt at Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade attempts to befriend Peter, and it doesn't go well. And le wild Green Goblin appears!

Wade grinned to himself as he strolled down the street. He whistled a tune to himself. He was on his way to Peter's apartment, all right. He was going to give Peter a very special surprise. 

[It's fifteen minutes until three, Wade.]

"Oh SNAP!" Wade exclaimed out loud. 

He started running towards Peter's apartment. He pushed past civilians, getting rude gestures or phrases in return. 

There was a kid on a skateboard cruising three feet in front of Wade. 

"MOVE OUTTA THE WAY, NERD!" Wade exclaimed, pushing the kid off his skateboard. 

He had wild brown hair, a pair of glasses, a faded green jacket, faded blue jeans, and a polaroid camera around his neck. 

**(Ew, hipster much?)**

"Very attractive hipster." Wade said aloud, stopping. 

"Hey man, what's your problem?" The hipster demanded, catching up to Wade.

"Not a mainstream problem." Wade giggled. 

The hipster growled, "Just watch it, next time, bud."

[Holy shit, is that Wolverine?]

"Nah." Wade said. "Logan is too hairy."

The hipster frowned. 

**(Hipster boy's voice sounds kinda familiar.)**

"Holy cow, we're late!" Wade said, running away.

* * *

 

Wade waited. In Peter's bedroom of course. He heard some commotion going on in the living room, but it wasn't Peter. Maybe it was his mom or something. Or girlfriend. It was ten mintues until three, Peter should be here soon. What if his girlfriend came in?

[I don't think he has a girlfriend.]

**(Don't you know anything about Spiderman? Of _course_ he has a girlfriend.)**

[Mary Jane? Carlie? Ms. Marvel? Spider-woman? Black Cat?]

Hearing of Pete's exes made Wade's heart hurt a bit. IT wasn't really jealousy, it was more longing.

**(Currently, it's Mary Jane.)**

[How original, author.]

Wade lay seductively on Pete's bed, one arm propping up his head and a rose in his mouth. Rose petals were scattered across the room, and there were candles lighting up the dark room. There was music playing in the background. 

**(Is that Careless Whisper?)**

Suddenly, Wade heard Peter's muffled voice through the door. Wade grinned, waiting. The door knob jiggled. 

The door opened slightly, with Peter's voice going, "What the hell-?"

There was a blur before the door closed again.

"WADE!" Peter shouted from behind the door. 

"Like your surprise, baby boy?" Wade called out. 

 _He almost saw my face_ , thought Peter, as he breathed heavily.  _Gotta hide my face_.

Peter scrambled into the kitchen and grabbed an old, paper bag that Aunt May tucked away when it was used for grocery shopping. He quickly poked two eyeholes in and put it on. He walked back to his bedroom and opened the door. 

He winced slightly at the sight. Wade was laying seductively on his bed, his mask pulled up half way up his face with a rose in his mouth. His room was dark, only lit dimly by candles. 

"Come lay with me, lover." Wade grinned, wiggling his nonexistent eyebrows. "Nice paperbag covering your head, it's a total turn-on by the way."

Peter groaned. "Wade, will you get out? I gotta do . . ." Peter hesitated. He didn't want to mention anything about homework. That would've gave a big fat hint that Peter was still in highschool. "I gotta do work."

"OH." Wade laughed.Then he used finger quotes on "So you have to do  _work_." 

"What do you mean?" He asked, frowning. He knew Wade couldn't see, due to the paper bag over his head. 

Wade made a motion with his hand, cupping nothing and moving his arm up and down from his crotch. 

"Wade- You know what? That's disgusting. You know what? Just get out. I can't even stand you right now.

"Fine. I'm going to get chimichangas for the two of us. By the way, who's Carlie?" Wade asked, opening Peter's window.

Peter frowned. "Who?"

"Wrong universe, sorry!" Wade said, before swinging out the window and disappearing into the night.

Peter shook his head and took off the paper bag. He turned on the lights, shut off the stereo and got to work on his chemistry homework. Peter really did love science and mathematics. He allowed himself to get lost in the world of science. It was comforting, to him. It felt like reality almost. No worrying about Spiderman duties, no villains, no  _Deadpool_. Just him and his math. 

When his alarm beeped, signaling he had to go continue his duties as Spiderman, he sighed and got up to get dressed. Wade clearly wasn't coming back. Peter dressed into his costume and swung out of his apartment.

* * *

.

Peter yelped as he was thrown into the building, crashing into the window. He landed on an office desk and looked up, dazed. People wearing office uniform looked down at him with horror. All he heard were women screaming and people scrambling around, which did not help Peter's headache.

"Sorry. " Peter grumbled at the people whose lives he was sure that he scarred. "I'll repay you one day. Unless I forget."

Peter groaned as things on the desk pushed into his back. He layed his head back and breathed heavily. He was pretty sure at least one of his ribs were broken. Green Goblin was the absolute worst to fight. He liked flying around, and throwing sharp things or bombs. Totally not fair in the Hero's book.

Suddenly, Peter heard evil cackling. He looked up from laying on the desk and saw the Green Goblin, cackling, grinning and holding a green bomb. Peter glanced at his ripped up costume. There were claw marks across his chest. The costume was ripped up so that it showed his bloodied and bruised chest. Peter's face hurt, and the blood stained his mask, but he couldn't take off his mask.

"Vengeance shall be mine,  _Spider-Man._ " Green Goblin jeered at Peter. 

Peter stood ontop of the desks, glowering at Green Goblin. "You know, for a villain, you have very unoriginal lines."

Was it brave of Peter to sass Green Goblin on the verge of defeat? Yes.

Was it stupid? Definitely.

"And for a kid, you talk too much." He said, before tossing a green bomb at his feet.

Peter didn't jump fast enough, and felt the shards of the bomb blast him back through some walls. Peter groaned as his head hit a desk. He looked up, dazed. A green goblin towered before him, grinning before he dropped something before Peter. An ear-piercing beeping sound was heard before Peter blacked out.

* * *

Peter woke up, smelling blood and . . . and  . . . Mexican food? His vision was blurry, and there was a ringing in his ears. He wasn't sure where Peter was, and his breathing grew rapid. Panic took over. Peter's head ache grew.He suddenly thought about Aunt May and how worried sick she might be- or is. 

"Oh, she's going to kill me." Peter mumbled. "And MJ, oh god, MJ. I wonder what she's thinking."

He winced and put his fist to his head and felt his hair. All this thinking made his head ache more intense. His wounds on his body were patched up perfectly. That doesn't make sense. If the Green Goblin did truly take Peter after the explosion, then why did he mend his wounds that he caused?

He sat up, making his head ache throb. But that wasn't his concern. His mask was  _off_. And Green Goblin, or whomever  _saw_ him. They know what Peter looks like. Peter still wore his ripped up costume. He blinked a few times, looking at his surroundings. There was his mask on the ground. It was stained with blood, Peter's no doubt, and it was all ripped up.

It was an aprtment. Not his of course, but an apartment. A very  _dirty_ one. There was Mexican food wrappers, or boxes, there was scum and dust everywhere, and suddenly, Peter didn't like laying on the couch. The couch was old, and ripped, but it smelled like spice, blood and gun powder. 

He saw a dark figure facing out the giant, floor to ceiling window, crossing their arms and looking at the New York city skyline. It was night time. They had their back to Peter. They seemed like they have been waiting there for a long time. 

"H-Hello?" Peter croaked, his voice feeling dry. 

The figure turned around and Peter was surprised at who it was. 

"Deadpool?" Peter asked, bewildered. Then his heart dropped. Deadpool knows what he looks like, and where he  _lives_. This is not good. Wade could sell his information to some villain. His heart pounded, and it felt like it was climbing up his throat. 

Wade tilted his head. "Hello,  _Peter_."

**(Hey, that's the hipster we pushed on the street!)**

[Told ya he was a twink.]

"Wade, what happened? All I remember-"

"How old are you?" Wade suddenly asked, his voice giving Peter goosebumps. 

Peter swallowed. "N-Nineteen."

Wade chuckled darkly. "Now I'm going to ask again. How old are you,  _really_?"

"S-Seventeen."

"Liar."

Peter closed his eyes and exhaled. "O-Okay, f-fine. I-I'm sixteen. So what?"

"So WHAT?!" Wade suddenly yelled, making Peter jump. "All this time I've been hitting on you, you were  _sixteen_?! All this time I've been looking at your ass, I've jacked off to you-"

"Wade-"

"And don't even  _mention_ the fanfictions I read-"

**(Some were very very dirty.)**

"WADE!" Peter snapped. Now it was Peter's turn to be scary. "Why did you save me? And better yet, why did you take my mask off?"

"I was  _stalking_ you. I took off your mask because there was smoke everywhere, Pete! You would've suffocated!" Wade cried. "I can get  _arrested_ for stalking a sixteen year old!"

[SInce when do you care about getting arrested?]

**(I know right?)**

"QUIET!" Wade snapped, making Peter jump again. 

"W-Well, thanks for . . . saving me, I guess." Peter mumbled. "Are you mad about me being sixteen?"

[Oh yeah, we're supposed to be mad.]

"Get. Out. Jail bait." Deadpool said grimly. 

Peter did not hesitate to pick up his mask and walk out of the door. As soon as the door closed, Wade groaned and collapsed. He took his mask off and clutched at his bald head. He cried out, yelling. Tears rimmed his eyes. 

**(No spidey action for this guy.)**

"Shut UP!" Wade cried, curling up into a ball. 

Wade wept and stared out of the window.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gets two oppurtunites to update fanfic. Doesn't*
> 
> I'm sorry. I hope this is worth it. :l


	3. You hurt me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade doesn't talk to Peter ever since the incident, and Peter doesn't know what to do.

Peter sat at the large, oval shaped table. He was in a meeting. An Avengers meeting. Nick Fury was going on about the next solo mission, and was trying to get anyone to sign up. Peter was hardly paying attention. He was too busy studying the details of the polished metal table. 

When Peter returned home that night from Wade's apartment, Aunt May nearly beat the tar out of Peter. He just came up with a sloppy excuse about being mugged. MJ was even more mad. But she was crying so much. Peter felt so guilty. 

He couldn't get his mind off Wade. He felt guilty, for some reason. He shouldn't be. It's not his fault he's sixteen. Turning seventeen in a few months. He wondered why Wade was so mad. Surely he couldn't possible care about Peter's age. I mean, this whole 'I love you thing' that Wade was playing on Peter  _had_ to be a joke. Right?

Peter never thought about dating Wade. He imagine it would be complex, but somehow . . . it'd fit. They did develop a somewhat friendship and they did get along together well. They teamed up a lot, and Wade always took Peter out for hotdogs. It was nice being in his company. 

He shook his head. Why on Earth was he thinking about this? He was dating Mary Jane, the girl of his dreams. She's absolutely perfect and Peter would never do anything to hurt her in any way, shape or form. But she was already in danger dating Peter alone. She knew about his double life, and Peter couldn't stand the look on her face right before he went off to go on missions. He fought for her. 

"-Parker!"

Peter shook out of his daydream and looked up. The whole team was looking at him. He felt his cheeks get warm. 

"Since no one wants to go on this mission, _you_ will be going. Especially since you can't be able to pay attention." Fury growled. 

Peter rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, whatever."

Peter was usually the 'weak link' on his team. The others treated him like a child. He technically was- but still. Peter could still fight for himself. He actually saved the whole team on numerous occasions, not so much as a thank you from his team mates. He was used to it. No matter where Peter went, he was always picked on. Even as a super hero he was the underdog. 

"Where is he?" Black Widow suddenly snapped. "He should've been here while you were explaining the mission." 

Fury sighed. "I don't know. He's an imbecile. I can't blame any of you for not wanting to go on this mission with him."

"I'm Heeeeere!" A familiar voice sang, waltzing in with a sombrero on his head. 

"Deadpool." Fury spat, as if saying his name was like eating garbage.

"He-llo, patches. Looking sharp as usual." Wade commented. "So which one of you lucky avengers is my partner?"

Peter looked back down to the table, feeling his cheeks heat up at just the mere sight of Wade. 

Wait, why was he blushing? Peter couldn't possibly 'like like' Wade. Impossible.

"Parker." Fury said. 

Peter looked up at Wade. He swore he saw Wade stiffen up.

"Darn it! I was really hoping it was you, Iron Maiden." Wade said, looking at Iron Man. "But are you sure you can't assign anyone  _else_?"

Peter froze. Deadpool didn't even want to team up with him. Was Wade really that hurt?

"No." fury answered. 

"But he's just a  _kid_. He'll barely stand a chance." Wade complained. 

Fury scowled. "I'm aware. You'll just have to deal with it."

"Fine." Wade snapped. "Okay, let's go, Pete."

"Wait." Peter said, standing up. A few of the Avengers groaned. "Why are you choosing him of all people? You guys  _hate_ him. You told me yourselves."

The Avengers shifted awkwardly, Captain America started coughing awkwardly into his fist.

Wade looked down, and that made Peter's heart pang. That made Peter hate the Avengers even more. Wade can be enjoyable if you could stand him for thirty seconds. He can be nice, he can be there for you. Sure, he might not be loyal, but deep down, there's a human being in there. The Avengers always tease and make fun of Wade, or his scars when he's there. 

For example, last week, Clint picked up a half rotten potato and claimed it was better to look at more than Wade. That's when Peter punched him and Peter got suspended from the Avengers for a week. Peter honestly didn't care. He was standing up for Wade. Even when Wade is present, and the Avengers make fun of him, Wade kinda just laughed along, but Peter knew he was hurting inside.

"Because," Fury stated, seemingly unaffected by Peter's harsh, truthful statement. "If you were paying attention, you would've known that you need to break into Taskmaster's school and retrieve Agent Walker. He has been kidnapped. And no one knows Taskmaster more than Deadpool."

"Fine, okay. When do we leave?"

"Tonight." Fury answered. 

* * *

Peter sighed on the plane. Fury had rented a whole plane for them, and of course, Wade took the oppurtunity to run up and down the aisles, making plane noises, much to the annoyance of Peter and the flight attendances. 

Peter had told Aunt May and MJ that he was taking a vacation with his friend, Wade. They said he could go. At least he didn't have to worry about their safety. S.H.I.E.L.D said they'd keep a close eye on them

Wade had finally calmed himself down enough to sit down across the aisle from Peter and eat some airplane mexican food. If this happened before the unmasking of Peter, Wade would've been delighted to sit next to Peter and talk nonstop. Now, he acts like he doesn't even know him. And that hurt Peter. 

A few hours later, Peter fell asleep with his headphones softly playing coldplay. 

When Peter woke up, Deadpool was watching the movie that was playing.  _Titanic_? Really?

Peter yawned and looked over at Wade. "Wade?"

Wade didn't respond. Peter took out his headphones. "Look, Wade. We need to talk."

"Talk about what?" Wade responded, cold.

A pang of guilt hit Peter's heart. 

"I-It's not my fault!" Peter suddenly snapped. "It's not my fault that I'm sixteen okay?"

Wade didn't even look over. He just had this stern face on and kept watching Titanic. 

Peter grew angry. "If anyone's at fault here, it's  _you._ Your internal problems, the 'Oh wah, I have cancer and I use humor to hide my emotions!' act is on  _you_. Not me. So don't blame things on me and take a look at yourself for once!"

Wade stiffened and gripped his arm rest. 

At this point, Peter should've just stopped, but there was too much anger. "You know what it's like to be ignored by your friend for  _weeks_? And you don't know why they're doing this, and you can't help them? It fucking  _hurts_. That's how you treated me, Wade. I can help you, but no, you would much rather sit there in self pity."

Peter jammed his headphones back in and glared out the airplane window. 

Wade got up and ran to the bathroom. Peter didn't notice.

Once in the bathroom, Wade stood at the sink and took his mask off. He looked at his bald head, the blob-like red scars, and his eyes that were completely yellow. 

[Going with the Tony Moore version, are we?]

Wade cupped his hands under the sink and splashed his face. He breathed heavily. Peter hated him. Peter hated him and there was nothing that Wade could do but  _love_ him. He gripped the edge of the sink, the tears from his eyes falling. It really sucked. Loving someone who finds you absolutely disgusting, and who has a girlfriend. 

 **(A hot girlfriend.)**  

[Mary Jane has got it going on.]

Wade pulled his mask back on and walked back to the seats. He glanced at Peter before sitting a few aisles away from Peter. He didn't want to look at Peter, and he was damn sure that Peter didn't want to look at Wade, either. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HO DAMN. TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY. I can stay up today, even though finals. And school. Bleh.


	4. Strictly Proffesional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade is giving Peter the cold shoulder, and usually, Peter would not have minded, but he's caring about Wade a little more than he should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Laughing manically at your sadness* And I started playing Assassin's creed (HA! ASS-ASS) and one knows what that can do to one's brain. *cough cough, procrastinator COUGH* And watching Hetalia. Finished Axis Powers and the movie. BUH-BAYUM. Oh-kay on with the story. You probably didn't read this. Ryan Reynolds. Schwag.

"I think we're here." Wade said to Peter, as they stopped in front of a large old, building. It looked like it could be an old school, but it was much more bland and worn down. It was secluded by large trees. 

[Well of course we're here. It's not like you find a large worn-out building in the middle of a forest. In the middle of the mountains.]

**(I seriously hope this author got it right.)**

[She just didn't want to write the transition from the plane scene to here.]

 **(Lazy.)**  

"We need a plan." Peter said, pulling his mask on. 

Wade tossed their duffel bags near a tree. "How about you stay here while I find Agent Whathisface?"

"No, Wade. I was put on this mission for a reason." Peter argued. "And that reason is that so we can work together."

Wade huffed. "Whatevs. Let's just go inside, killing everyone except Agent Guy."

"We are not killing anyone!" Peter exclaimed. 

Wade ignored Peter, walking inside. 

"Wade!" Peter called, running after him. 

Inside the Academy was intimidating. At the moment, there was no one around. The place was dim, the only source of light being a hold in the ceiling. There were attack dummies everywhere, most of them crudely painted to look like Peter's superhero companions. Peter felt a sense of danger lurking around every corner. Wade however, walked along as if this was a trip to the grocery store.

What worried Peter wasn't the academy. Wade worried Peter. Wade wasn't talking to Peter. And talking was one of the things that Wade did best. Wade tried not to talk to Peter as much as possible, and that hurt Peter. He felt like apologising, but somehow, he knew that it would not be enough for Wade. 

With all this thinking, Wade suddenly stopped and Peter walked straight between his shoulder blades and fell on his butt. 

[Walk much?]

"He's here." Wade said, cold. 

Wade and Peter were standing in the middle of what looked like a wrestling ring, but with someone in the middle. There was Agent Walker, looking beaten up. He was tied to a chair. 

Peter started to run to help him, but Wade grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. 

Peter stared at Wade incredulously. "What are you doing? I'm trying to-"

Wade suddenly tackled Peter to the ground, hearing the sound of arrows flying through to where their heads were. The arrows stuck onto the wall behind Agent Walker. 

Wade held Peter tight, but not tight enough to suffocate him. Peter stared at Wade with awe. Wade buried his head into the crook of Peter's neck. As mad as Peter might be, Wade still  _needed_ him. He wasn't sure why, but it was just an instinct. 

Peter felt the weight of Wade on top of him, and there was this one little dirty thought in the back of his mind. Peter swallowed hard, feeling his cheeks heat up and blood rushing to a certain place.  _No, no no. This cannot be happening._ Peter thought. Peter glanced at the way his muscles flexed through the skin tight fabric of his costume. 

Peter shoved Wade off of him, a look of shame and sadness on Wade's mask. His expressions were clearly visible through Wade's mask.

"G-Go get Agent Walker." Peter croaked, awkwardly placing his hands over his growing arousal. 

**(Is that . . . What I think it is?)**

[Holy shit, Spiderman just got a boner.]

"From what?" Wade asked aloud. "We're ugly."

"I . . . I didn't say anything." Peter murmured. 

Wade sighed. "Nevermind. Let's go get Agent Something."

Peter sat on the ground, his hands awkwardly placed over his crotch, while he tried to think of anything to get rid of his arousal.  _Aunt May naked? Tony Stark's ass_ _?_   Peter shuddered. 

"You know," called out Wade as he was untying Agent Blahblah. "If you flex your muscles, you can make the blood go away from your erection, and that'll make it go away faster, rather than thinking of Tony Stark's butt."

Peter blushed furiously. Was he seriously saying those thoughts out loud? Real smooth, Parker. Real smooth. Despite his embarrassment, Peter stretched his neck and flexed his biceps and triceps and all the other 'ceps of his body. Before he knew it, his erection went away. 

"Th-Thank you." Agent Walker choked out, attempting to wipe the dried blood off his face. "Thank you so much."

"Did you tell them anything?" Asked Wade, his hand reaching for his gun. 

"If I did," Walker answered. "I would not be alive."

Wade nodded and grabbed Walker at the waist. Walker slung an arm over Wade shoulder and the two started walking away. Peter came over to Walker's opposite side and mirrored Wade's actions. The three walked out of the academy, walking towards the jeep that Peter and Wade drove here in. 

"Wait." Wade said, stopping. 

"What is it?" Peter asked. 

Wade looked around. "Getting Agent Walked couldn't have been this easy."

Peter frowned. "We almost got shot with arrows. Do you consider _that_ easy?

"Walker, what did they do to you?" Wade asked. 

Walker looked up at the taller man. "W-Well, I don't remember much. They took me to an operating room and knocked me out. Then I woke up on that chair."

"You told."

Walker's face was washed with fear. "What? No I didn't! I would never!"

Wade unzipped the front of Walker's SHIELD suit to reveal a bruised and bloodied chest with an ugly stitched up cut going across his stomach. Obviously not done by a professional. Wade narrowed his eyes at the scar. It looked to be about a day old. There was a box shaped thing in his chest, sticking out. 

"I'm going to vomit." Peter mumbled. 

Wade pressed the side of his face against Walker's chest and listened intently. He heard a faint  _beep beep beep_. 

Wade grabbed Peter and shoved Walker back. "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Walker said, looking up at Wade. 

Then Agent Walker exploded. 

His stomach erupted, making dark red coloured organs fly outwards, splattering Wade and Peter with blood and bits of exploded organs. 

**(Anyone else smell steak?)**

Peter ran to some bushes, pulled his mask back and vomited. What was left of Agent Walker was his corpse, with his chest ripped open violently, nothing left of his guts. There was a giant hole in his chest. 

Peter ran back to Wade, his throat burning and mouth tasting gross. 

"Di-Did they put a bomb there?" Peter warily asked. 

Wade nodded grimly. "Either he told them something, or he never told, and he was of no use to Taskmaster."

"Walker would never tell." Peter argued. 

"Oh really? How long did you know him?" Wade snapped. 

Peter said nothing. 

Wade muttered, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

[Yikes.]

"I'm going to call Fury." Peter muttered, starting to walk off towards the jeep.

"Hello,  _Spiderman._ " A chilly voice jeered. 

Suddenly, Taskmaster walked out of the shadows from the entrance of his Academy, his arms behind his back. He looked calm, cool, collected . . . and deadly. 

"Taskmaster." Peter spat, crouching and getting ready to web up the villain.

"Hello, Spiderman." Taskmaster said smugly. "You know, you should've just trained with me. You wouldn't be so naive."

[That episode of The Ultimate Spiderman was not the best.]

Suddenly, a bunch of Taskmaster's minions ran out from behind Taskmaster and ran towards Peter and Wade. Wade brought put his katanas and started to kill and murder each minion with skill, not letting a scratch on himself.

"Wade!" Peter snapped. "We cannot kill them!"

"We can't just let them get away with murdering Agent Something-or-other, now can we?" Wade snapped. 

"Well, they have families of their own!" Peter said, punching one in the face. "A Mom, a Dad, a love of their life-"

Wade stopped. He tensed. "I don't care."

He continued to kill them until they were all gone. The ones that Peter knocked out were all tied up in a web. Wade slashed and sliced with his katanas, and brought out his twin pistols when he was surrounded. Peter glanced over once in awhile when they were fighting. He was really trained. Almost as if he popped out of his mother's womb and started training as a mercenary. 

Peter shuddered. 

_Gross._

"Where's Taskmaster?" Peter demanded, looking around. 

"He's gone." Wade grumbled. 

Peter ripped off his mask and looked at Wade with an unreadable expression. Peter's hair was damp from sweat and he had a black eye. 

"Why did you kill them, Wade?" Peter demanded. 

"Because!" Wade snapped. "The scum of the earth deserves to be erased. If you sign up for that Academy, and you decided to carry on with Taskmaster's evil plans that would kill way more people then I will ever do, then you deserve to die."

Peter yanked on his mask. "Let's just go home. I'm tired."

Wade collected their bags, and they hopped onto the jeep, driving home. Wade drove. Peter stayed in his suit, crossing his arms and glaring at the ground. Their suits were ripped and dirty. 

**(Awkward.)**

[Sexual tension.]

**(Say something.)**

"Uh . . ." Wade mumbled, trying to find the right words to say.

Peter looked over, raising an eyebrow. 

"So . . . how's your day been going?" Wade grinned. 

"How's my day been going?" Peter clenched his fists. "How's my- Okay. Never mind. Uh . . . it was . . . 'exciting'. How about yours?"

Wade smiled. "Mine's been doing great, Petey."

"Good." Peter sighed, feeling his heart lift. The two continued on home, as if that whole fight never even happened. 

* * *

"You've been in a good mood, lately." Tony Stark remarked.  **(HA! That kinda rhymed.)**  

Peter shrugged, smiling. "I just . . . I feel good."

He thought of Wade. 

"Did you get laid?" Tony asked, not taking an eye off the project he and Peter were working on. 

Peter blushed furiously. "No. I'm still a virgin."

Tony chuckled. "Would you like to have . . . 'the talk'?"

"Tony, no it's fine." Peter rambled. 

Tony laughed manically as he walked away. Pepper walked towards Peter and rested her elbows on the table. 

"Don't worry about him, kid. He's a nutjob." Pepper smirked. 

"Uh, thanks." Peter mumbled, fidgeting with the machine that he and Tony were working on. 

Peter saw Pepper tilt her head at Peter and narrow her eyes. Peter felt like he was under a magnifying glass. 

"You're in love." Pepper declared, slapping her hands on the counter and walking away. 

Peter said nothing. He stared at the machine and chewed on his bottom lip. Could he really?  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I just bought the Deadpool game (wow, took me forever) so . . . another update is not at the top of my list. UPDATE: This chapter would've been published hours ago, except the Deadpool game finished loading and I started playing it. Totally not sorry.


	5. Date?

"Peter?" Mary Jane asked, putting down her fork. "Is everything alright? You seem distracted."

"Huh? Oh, no." Peter coughed. "Yeah, no. I'm fine. Just thinking about . . . Spidey duties."

Mary Jane sighed and started eating her salad again. Peter felt bad. That spark that he and Mary Jane shared was gone. The excitement is gone. The adrenaline is gone. Now it was just like they were friends. Peter didn't love her anymore. He  had to do something.

"MJ?"

"What is it, Peter?"

"C-Can I ask you something?" Peter stammered, his hands getting sweaty. Gross.

Mary Jane smiled, her red hair reflecting the candle light of the restaurant softly. 

"Anything, Peter."

* * *

Peter lay stiffly in the bed, clenching the sheet. He cannot believe he just did that. He was so disgusted during all of it. The only thing that made him reach his climax was imagining Wade on top of him, and all of his muscles. He felt so ashamed. 

Mary Jane was laying next to him, sleeping softly. Her back was facing Peter, and the moonlight reflected off of her pale skin. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck with sweat. It didn't feel right to Peter. It felt like putting a shoe on the wrong foot. 

Peter got out of bed and put his costume on. He glanced at the clock. 8:23. He wrote a note and left it on the nightstand. It read, "MJ- Had to go out for Spiderman duties. I had a really good time."

Sure, he half-assed it, but at least it was something. 

Peter climbed out the window and to the top of his apartment building. All Peter wanted to do was to see Wade. He wasn't completely sure why, but it almost felt like Peter cheated on Wade by giving his virginity to Mary Jane. 

Peter absentmindedly webbed around New York city, his head turning at any flash of red, hoping it was Deadpool. 

Eventually, Peter stopped at the edge of a building and sat down. He sighed and stared down at the people. He looked at each and every person. Every person had a story, a heat break, a regret, a love, parents . . . Peter felt so tiny. 

"Hey, baby boy." A familiar voice said. 

Peter looked behind him and grinned from ear to ear. "Wade!"

"Hey, Pete! Wanna get some hot dogs?" Wade offered. 

"I'd love to."

So the two heroes-

 **(Well, one and a half heroes.)**  

Fine. One and a  _half_   heroes went ground level and went down to get some hot dogs. They chattered and ate hot dogs, just like old times. Peter felt content. For a moment, he forgot all about his Spiderman duties and Mary Jane. Right now, he was with Wade. 

[Are we in the Perks of Being a Wall Flower?]

**(Logan Lerman. He. Is. Fine.)**

[Did you know he auditioned to be Spiderman?]

**(He would've been fantastic.)**

"Guys. Cool it. I'm totally on a date with Spiderman." Wade said. 

Peter blushed. "Th-This is a date."

"Not unless you want it to be." Wade chirped, throwing an arm around Peter. "What do you say you come to my apartment? We can watch R.I.P.D! I know it's not the best, but I'm in it!"

Peter chuckled. "Half the time, I have no idea what you're talking about, but sure. I'd love to see your dirty apartment."

"Exactly!" Wade nodded. "That's the adventure!"

They walked together down the street in full costume, ignoring all the gasps and stares. 

"You know J. Jameson is going to hound your ass for hanging out with me." Wade bent down and murmured in Peter's ear. 

Peter shrugged. "I don't mind."

Wade smiled. Peter didn't actually mind being seen with Wade? That was new. 

[Deadpool's Love Story.]

**(Hope it becomes Deadpool's Porno, soon.)**

[The readers love us, author! Put us more in the story!]

Wade took Peter's hand into his own, smiling and squeezing it. Peter smiled and squeezed his hand back. 

**(Woah, are they dating now?)**

"I hope so." Wade said, hope apparent in his voice. 

* * *

"This movie doesn't make any fucking sense." Wade mumbled, pausing it. 

"What movie do you want to watch now?" Peter asked, yawning into his fist. 

Wade shrugged. "I have this soap opera from the 90s."

"Put it in."

.

.

. 

"WHAT?!" Peter screamed at the television, sitting at the edge of the dirty couch. "So Marissa stole Ja'mie's husband  _and_ took her money?!" 

"Outrageous!" Wade declared. 

 **(Bitch had it coming.)**  

[After all, Ja'mie told the other girls about Marissa's secret.]

 **(Which we still don't know.)**  

"Well. That was the last episode of the season." Wade sighed, getting up to eject the disk. He turned back to ask Peter if he wanted to watch the next season, but he was fast asleep. Wade smiled to himself. 

For a couple of hours, Wade and Peter watched almost an entire season of this 90s drama about housewives that sneak behind their rich husbands' backs. So far, Wade and Peter have been into it. During the soap opera, Wade and Peter found themselves subconsciously sitting close to each other, rubbing each other's knees and making physical contact.

Wade walked to Peter, scooped him up, and put him into Wade's bed. 

[Our bed is dirty.]

Peter immediately curled into the bed and pulled the blanket up to his neck.

"This isn't right." Wade said aloud. "He's . . . sixteen. And I'm . . ."

**(According to the author's mind, your healing factor disables you from aging. So you are stuck at looking about . . . 26?)**

"I've been 26 for like, forty years." Wade muttered. 

[Holy shit really?]

**(I just remember Wade being from the 70s, 80s era. I dunno.)**

"So I'll sleep on the couch." Wade sighed. "I'm pretty sure that Pete wouldn't want a freak sleeping next to him."

So Wade peeled off his costume and slipped into a pair of red pajama bottoms. 

[How fitting.]

He went to the bathroom and examined himself. His face scrunched up at the sight. He ran his hand over all the scars and swallowed dryly. he sighed and grabbed an extra blanket from the bedroom. He walked to the couch, plopped down and pulled the blanket over himself. 

"Freak." Wade murmured, before he fell asleep. 

* * *

Peter woke up in an unfamiliar place. It smelled like gun powder, Mexican food, and spice. He blinked hard and threw the blankets off. He wore his suit, and his mask was probably somewhere in the living room. 

Oh right. He and Wade stayed up and watched soap operas. 

Peter sighed and slipped out of the messy bed. He stretched and cracked his bones. He yawned, scratching his elbow and walking to the living room. There, he found a scarred up, muscular man sleeping on the couch. The whole apartment was dirty, dusty and falling apart. 

He approached the man on the couch, preparing to web him. 

Man, his scars were gruesome. It looked as if a toddler violently drew on this man's skin with a red crayon. Peter sat next to the man sleeping on the couch. 

The man stirred and muttered something about tacos. 

Peter's eyes narrowed. "Wade?"

Peter's eyes widened as he realised it was indeed Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth. 

Peter absentmindedly reached out for his skin and touched a rough scar, tracing it. Wade always talked about how ugly he looked, but Peter never saw him under the mask. He also didn't even know he was . . .  _that_ ugly.

Wade's body  _was_ impressive, despite the scars. It was muscular. He wasn't lean like Peter, but he was built, and he looked like he could kill you by throwing one punch. Peter found himself tracing his muscles with his scars. 

Peter took a deep breath before he could do anything else. He stood and grabbed his mask hanging off the edge of the couch. He pulled it on before swinging out of the apartment and back to his own apartment. It was still early in the morning, so Peter slipping into bed without Aunt May noticing he was gone.

Wade woke up, his apartment empty. No sign of Peter. 

[He did have to go. His parents would worry sick.]

"Whatevs." Wade yawned, stretching his back. 

Wade did enjoy his time last night. Being with Peter felt fun.  _Natural_. As if it was meant to be. 

[You  _do_ sound like a teenage girl.]

"I can be a teenage girl!" Wade huffed, crossing his arms and staring at the cracked, water stained ceiling. 

 **(** **Puh-leeze. Spidey's more of a teen girl than you.)**  

[I wonder what school he goes to.]

"Well let's find out!" Wade smiled.


	6. Rumors are just rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade runs into a little trouble when he decided to visit Peter at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm typing this and watching supernatural. At the same time. This is what I do on saturday nights. (Saturday nights, distant lights, you yo girl and your Johnson.) ((Johnson is another work for penis. And it's from a boating commercial)) (((I'm on season 3 of supernatural BTW. Don't spoil shit for me. You fucks)))
> 
> ((((WHY THE FUCK DID RUBY KISS SAM?))))
> 
> (((((This is freaking paper-view porn, wtf Ruby. And I'm still on season 3. Fuckers.)))))
> 
> ((((((WTH SAM IS LIKE A LITTLE BABY NOOOOOOOO))))))
> 
> OH YEAH and I'm a little pissed off because my brother took my Deadpool game and finished it before me and I tried playing it today and he yelled at me whenever I did wrong things. I'm older than him. He's a douchedick.

Peter was at his locker the next day. School has just ended and Peter was still at his locker. He was looking for his science worksheet. He was planning to turn it in at the end of the day. Sadly, his locker had turned into a chaotic mess throughout the school year. 

Peter sighed and found the crumpled paper. He brought out his skateboard and backpack. Peter shut the locker and started to walk towards the science classroom. 

Meanwhile, Wade was just around the corner. He was giddy with excitement. These students were lucky to be with baby boy every freaking day! Wade wondered about his status. He was probably pretty popular. He  _was_ attractive. Wade wouldn't be surprised if the ladies threw themselves at Peter

[When's the last time we've been in high school?]

 **(Too long.)**  

Right when Wade was about to run to Peter, a gruff voice echoed through the hall yelling harshly, "HEY, PARKER!"

Wade watched from behind the corner. 

A group of burly, jock-looking boys surrounded Peter. They all wore blue and white varsity jackets. The main one had short blonde hair, looking similar to J. Jameson's. Peter was tall, and lean with some muscle, but these boys were taller and more built. 

"Hey, Parker." The blonde grinned. "Where do you think  _you're_ going?"

[He looks like he can be in a porno.]

 **(Blonde jock teen takes it from behind.)**  

"Nowhere." Peter muttered. Peter's fists clenched. Wade knew he wanted to knock all those boys on their asses. He could, but Wade knew Peter wouldn't. 

"What'cha got there, Parker?" The blonde grinned. He ripped the paper that Peter was holding out of his hands. 

Peter sighed angrily. "It's my science paper, Flash."

The guy who Wade assumed to be Flash, smirked. "Well, it's mine now. Nerd." 

The boys surrounding Peter snickered. When Flash shoved Peter back a little, Wade's blood boiled. 

[We should do something.]

"Not yet." Wade muttered.

"Puny Parker." Flash . . . 'flashed' a wicked grin before grabbing the front of Peter's shirt and lifting him off the ground. 

 **(English language, people.)**  

"Hit 'im, Flash!" One of his friends jeered. 

((A/N: WHAT THE FUCK ANA AND DEAN ARE HAVING SEX? THIS WHOLE SHOW IS JUST EVERYONE HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER! sUPERNATURAL IS 99% FUCK FEST OMFG))

"Oh I will." Flash promised, before throwing a punch. Wade saw Peter's blood fly from his mouth. Wade's fists clenched. Flash threw Peter against the lockers. Peter sat on the floor with his back pressed against the lockers. Flash approached Peter and was about to throw another punch, but Wade decided it was time for him to step in. 

"HEY!" Wade barked, stepping out from behind the corner. The boys jumped, but they looked over. 

Flash made a disgusted face. "Is that a Spider-Man wannabe?"

"Maybe." Wade answered, quite aware of the many weapons he has, and well aware of the boys' frightened stares. They all seemed intimidated by Wade except for Flash.

((A/N: AHAHAA ANA KISSED DEAN AND CAS MADE A DISGUSTED FACE.))

"You know, Spider-Man is a really good person and he's my favourite super hero. He doesn't deserve to have imposters who appear to be a little addicted to weapons." Flash growled. 

 **(I'm sorry, what did he just say?)**  

[Peter Parker, the kid he beats up, is his  _idol?_ ]

"HA!" Wade snorted. "Y'know, Pe-"

Wade glanced at Peter, who was shaking his head. 

Wade turned back to Flash. "Spider-Man would really be disappointed to see you beating up a kid like that. Even if you're his Number One fan."

 **(I thought we were his number one fan.)**  

"We are." Wade replied. 

Flash frowned. "Listen,  _freak_ , I don't know why you are at my school, or how you got in-"

[Through the door?]

"-But you are going to get the hell out, and leave me and Puny Parker to business."

Wade waved a finger. "Tsk. Tsk. I do believe I am here to pick up Pete. So you can just go, before you hurt yourself."

 **(Is that what we call it when we kill people?)**  

[Yes.]

"You're going to have to go through me." Flash growled. 

"Like this?" Wade asked, before pressing a button on his belt. Suddenly, he was behind Flash and next to a bloody Peter.

**(Our teleportation device is not as common.)**

((A/N: Yes, he does have a teleportation device. Look it up.))

"What the hell?" Flash yelled. 

Wade scooped up a smirking Peter before teleporting away. 

* * *

 

"How long has he been bullying you?" Wade asked Peter. Wade was laying on Peter's bed, tossing a knife in the air and catching it perfectly each time. 

Peter was sitting at his desk, re-doing his science worksheet. 

"Ah . . ." Peter hesitated. "Since elementary school."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"Well, my powers would kill him, Wade."

Wade huffed. "I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about  _before_ you got your powers. Why didn't you stand up for yourself?"

Peter didn't look over. "Well, when I tried, it would get worse; more of his friends would gang up on me, regardless of Flash's presense, and when I told Aunt May or the school board, they didn't take me seriously. I mean, Uncle Ben . . . he told me to stand up for myself and . . . and that day . . ." Wade saw Peter's fists clench. 

"Woah, we're getting into some emotional stuff. You don't have to tell if you don't want to." Wade said. 

"It's . . . It's fine." Peter murmured. "So one day, when I was twelve, Uncle Ben told me to stand up for myself. So I did, and Flash Thompson broke my arm."

Wade sat up. 

Peter's eyes widened and he turned around in his chair. "Wade-"

"I'm going to kill that kid." Wade said through clenched teeth. 

Peter sighed, exasperated. "Wade, c'mon. It's okay-"

"No!" Wade snapped. "It's not okay! Pete . . . you don't deserve this! All the shit you've been through-"

"Wade!" Peter growled. "Seriously. Let it go." 

Peter turned back to his homework. "So anyway, I was thinking, after super hero duties, why don't you and I get some tacos and watch movies? It's my turn to pick."

Wade didn't respond. 

Peter turned in his chair to see his bed empty. Peter cursed. He got up and opened up his dresser. Peter quickly undressed (He wore no boxers under the suit. It chaffed.) and pulled on his Spiderman suit. 

Suddenly, his door opened. Peter tripped. He looked over. 

His girlfriend, Mary Jane, looked over and stiffled a laugh. "Need help, tiger?"

Peter got up and got his mask. "Bad time, MJ."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Mary Jane asked, crossing her arms and tilting her head. 

Peter groaned. "Our date. I'm sorry, but I can't really-"

"Peter." Mary Jane snapped. "You promised."

Ever since the two gave their virginity away to each other, Mary Jane has been clingier than ever. Peter however, has been more distant. Peter has been loving Mary Jane less and less. Now, all her bad qualities are showing more to Peter, and he's finding more reasons to love her less. She's bossy and needy. In the beginning, she was fiesty, beautiful and independent.  

"MJ, we had this talk. My duties come first." Peter argued. 

Peter started to walk towards his window. Before Mary Jane could say anything else, Peter webbed himself out of the apartment. He was angry. Not with himself, but with Mary Jane. She was so needy and clingy. Peter really regretted giving her his virginity. 

Peter knew exactly where Wade would be. Peter webbed his way to his school. Sure, Spiderman fans were taken off guard because Peter was supposed to come out at six or seven, but Peter really didn't care. All Peter cared about was Wade.

At the school, Peter quickly burst through the doors. The teacher passing by screamed and dropped her papers. 

Peter shushed her and webbed himself up to the ceiling. Peter crawled upside down on the ceiling and made his way to the gymnasium.

Discreetly, he entered the gym. He dropped from the ceiling and landed on his feet. There was only two other people in the gym. There was Flash, who was dressed in old gym clothes and standing about ten feet away from the basket and throwing basketballs at the hoop, and Wade, who had his katanas out. Wade was mockingly pressing the blade of his swords to a few millimeters off of Flash's neck, and pulling away, like a golfer. 

Peter cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh . . . Hello!"

Flash turned his head in Peter's direction and Wade made an exasperated expression. Flash grinned and his eyes twinkled. 

"Spiderman!" Flash said, tossing the basketball to the side and running up to Peter. 

"Uh . . . Yeah! My friend told me that you were my Number One Fan!" Peter said. Peter was thankful he didn't have to fake a smile, due to the mask. 

Flash looked genuinely fan-girl-ish. "I-I am! You're my hero!"

"Well isn't  _this_ sweet." Wade groaned aloud, putting his katanas back in the holsters. 

Flash turned around and the sparkle in his eyes vanished and was replaced with disgust. "Well look, it's Mister Wannabe Spiderman."

"Deadpool." Peter answered, a hint of wist in his tone. 

Flash turned to look at Peter, surprise and confusement written across his face. "You  _know_ him?"

Peter nodded. "Y-Yeah. We've teamed up a few times. We're-"

"Lovers." Deadpool answered, appearing next to Spiderman, curling an arm around his waist.

Peter blushed and stuttered. "N-No. We're not. We're . . . friends."

"Come, Spider-pie!" Wade announced. "TO THE LOVE NEST."

Wade grabbed the back of Peter's costume and ran out of the gym. 

* * *

Peter groaned as he watched the news in front of him, hours later. The TV was set to the news. More specifically, it was J. Jameson talking. About Peter. 

"Thanks to resources, we have  _this_  photo of Spiderman  _sneaking into the local highschool_!" J. Jameson shouted at the camera, a photo of Peter in full costume, walking into his school. "And the same resources state this: 'The mercenary Deadpool was also there! Deadpool claims that he and that vigilante  _Spiderman_ are involved  _romantically_! And here's what I have to say about this  _certain_ situation. Spiderman has been no good from the start! Now we see him hanging out with scum like  _Deadpool_!" A different photo popped up in the corner of the screen. It was a blurry photo of Peter and Wade, with Wade running off with Peter in his arms. "This is enough proof to  _you_ , New York, that Spiderman is nothing but a no-good-"

Peter turned off the television. Wade couldn't help but howl in laughter. They were in Wade's apartment. 

"This isn't funny, Wade." Peter muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Wade calmed himself down enough to talk. "It's pretty funny. New York thinks we're dating!"

"Flash took a photo of us!" Peter cried. "And you just  _had_ to tell him that we were dating!"

Wade smirked at Peter. "Wanna play the part?"

"Wade-!"

Peter thought about Mary Jane. He almost didn't care about what she thought. He knew she was going to be pissed, but he didn't care. The only thing he cared about was getting yelled at. 

Secretly, Peter kind of . . .  _liked_ the idea of millions of people thinking he and Wade were dating. It gave Peter an excuse to be around Wade more. 

"-Pete?" Wade asked, waving his hand. "Hell-oooooo? Earth to Pete?"

Peter shook his head. "Oh . . . sorry. I was just . . . daydreaming."

"About my body?"

"Of course." Peter snickered, jokingly nudging Wade. "So. Let's watch Highschool Musical and get this party started."


	7. Rumors and Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets teased about the rumors about him and Wade. Suddenly, Wade ignores Peter for weeks and Peter finds out why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. Feelings. And Madpool. <3

Peter stood outside of the meeting room. He clenched his fists, preparing for all the teasing he's going to get. He knows Tony and Clint are going to laugh their asses off, and Steve will just be really confused. Fury will try to calm everyone down with no luck and everyone will just be teasing Peter. 

Nonetheless, Peter pushed open the door. As usual, he was the last person in the meeting. As soon as everyone's eyes turned to Peter, they all smirked. 

"You're late." Fury growled. "Sit down."

Tony grinned. "Well well well. If it isn't Deadpool's lover." Peter shot Tony a deadly look before sitting down.

"Give it a rest, Stark." Fury snapped. "Who cares about Peter's sexual orientation. It's his business-"

"Woah, hey." Peter said, sitting up. "Deadpool and I are  _not_ dating. We're friends. He's just teasing me."

Clint smirked. "Seems a lot like you two are a little more than friendly."

"Stop teasing him." Steve said, his voice echoing across the room. It was intimidating when Steve spoke. He could silence a whole room with just one look. Power echoed across this man. "If he says they're friends, they're friends. That's  _all_."

And the only one who didn't seem intimidated by Steve was Tony. 

Tony sighed and threw his back. "Steve, it's just a little bit of teasing. They didn't have that back in the days you were a kid, huh?"

"Actually," Steve replied. "They  _did_. And I don't like bullies. So everyone just stop."

"Can we just get down to business?" Fury asked, though it was more of a command more than a question. 

"Please." Peter begged.

So the meeting continued on like normal, Fury talking about upcoming missions. It seemed like a normal day at The Avengers' tower. 

After the meeting, Peter pulled on his mask and opened a window. He shouldered his bag and prepared to web to a parallel building. 

"Peter." A voice said behind him. 

Peter turned around and saw Natasha standing behind him, her arms crossed. 

Peter's hand clenched around the strap of his bag. "What do  _you_ want?"

"Relax, Peter." Natasha said coolly. "I just want to talk to you."

Usually, Natasha snapped at Peter in battle, criticizing his skill or battle strategy. She ignored Peter most days, only addressing him when she really had to. Peter thinks she has a thing out for him, but it can't be true. 

"About what?"

"About you and Wade Wilson." Natasha implied. "He's a bad, bad person, Peter."

Peter scoffed. "Since when did you care about who I hang out with?"

"I don't." She replied. "I care about your safety."

"Well I'm not a baby." Peter spat. "I can watch myself, and I have known him more than you ever have! He's not bad."

Peter said nothing else as he webbed out of the building. 

* * *

"Who the  _hell_ is Deadpool?" Mary Jane demanded, as Peter walked into his room. Mary Jane was sitting on Peter's bed, her arms crossed and a pouty expression.

Peter sighed. He made a mental note to yell at Wade later. 

"He's my  _friend_ , he was just teasing." Peter stated, unzipping the back of his costume and peeling it off of himself. Mary Jane's eyes followed his every movement. 

Peter pulled on a pair of sweats. "I promise, okay? I would never cheat on you."

He would. 

Mary Jane looked up at him with concerned eyes. "Are you sure?"

Peter nodded. 

Mary Jane sighed. Then she smiled. "So. How about our 'make up' date?"

Peter tried to find an excuse in his mind to not go. 

"Uhh . . ."

He couldn't. 

"Okay."

Peter practically begged for the date to take place in a movie theater. He had no interest to talk to Mary Jane. At least he could see Catching Fire while being a 'loving boyfriend'. Mary Jane tried holding his hand throughout the movie, but Peter paid no attention to her. 

When the two walked out of the theater, Mary Jane gripped Peter's shoulder and turned him around to face her. 

"What is it?" Peter asked, confused. 

Mary Jane licked her lips. "Peter, what am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing, why?" Peter asked, panic creeping onto his tone. 

"Do you not love me anymore?" Mary Jane asked, concerned green eyes looking up at Peter. 

Yes. 

People at school were jealous of Peter. Mary Jane was considered attractive at their school. She was curvy, smart, and pretty. She was anything any man would ever want. Women were jealous, men were wistful. Before Peter dated Mary Jane, she rejected so many people before Peter. 

"Of course I do." Peter lied. "My mind is just really occupied with my duties, y'know?"

Mary Jane sighed. "I understand."

Mary Jane held Peter's hand, and just for a moment, Peter was happy with their relationship. 

"I love you, Peter." Mary Jane said as they walked to her car. 

All Peter did was smile and squeeze her hand. He couldn't say "I love you too." It'd hurt him too much. 

* * *

"Aw come on!" Wade grinned. "It was funny! Manhattan thinks we're dating!"

"Wade." Peter stressed. "It's not funny! My girlfriend nearly dumped me!"

Wade faltered. "Ah yes, the red-headed beauty, Mary Jane Watson."

"Stalker much?" Peter snorted, flipping the channel to the news. J. Jameson appeared, yelling at the camera about how bad Peter was. 

"You know it, baby boy." Wade jeered, taking gulps of his soda. 

[Why are we drinking soda?]

**(Gotta make the story kid-friendly.)**

"Listen," Peter said. "We have to go out there, and tell the press we are not dating."

Wade scoffed. "What, coming out of the same apartment? Yeah, we're totally not boning each other."

"I have an idea."

.

.

.

"This is dumb." Wade complained, wiggling against his bonds webbed by Peter. 

"It'll work." Peter assured. 

[Peter's into bondage.]

"Ooh-hoo-hoo," Wade snickered. "Kinky."

Peter's face scrunched up. "Gross."

A dirty thought crept into Peter's mind, of Wade tied up on Peter's bed. Suddenly, Peter got very hot. 

"Getting a boner again?" Deadpool blurted. 

"Shut up." Peter grumbled. 

A lady walked by the alley way and yelled, "OH MY GOD, IT'S SPIDERMAN!"

"And Deadpool!" Wade muttered out of the corner of his mouth in a high-pitched voice. 

The lady appeared to be a tired-looking business woman. "C-Can I have a photo and an autograph? My son  _loves_ you."

"Of course, ma'am. I just defeated the evil mercenary Deadpool!" Peter exclaimed. 

[Jeeze, couldn't have gave us a more exciting opening?]

**(We're not all evil . . . Are we?)**

"RAWR!" Wade exclaimed, wiggling in his bonds. "I'm going to take all your money and eat your parents!"

The woman made a disgusted face. Nonetheless, she took a picture with Peter on her phone. Peter signed a napkin for the woman. 

"I thought you two were dating." The woman said, confused. 

"We weren't. We never were." Peter said, a bit too fast. 

"But-"

"Go on! Before Deadpool breaks free!" Peter exclaimed. The woman yelped and scurried on. 

Wade laughed. "This whole situation is great. More advertising for Deadpool, the mercenary, means more moo-la!"

[Who says 'moola' anymore?]

**(How do you even spell it?)**

"Hopefully, that woman will tell people that she met Spiderman, and she'll tell people that we are  _not_ dating." Peter sighed. 

[I just goodled it. It's 'moolah'.]

"Rumors die hard, Pete." Wade sighed, before using his knife to rip off the bonds.

Peter sighed. "Well hopefully that'll burn the activity down a bit. So, are you in the mood for some tacos?" He turned to look at Wade, but he was already gone.

 

* * *

Wade muched on a taco happily, swinging his feet as he sat on the edge of a building, overlooking Manhattan. 

"I wonder what Pete's doing." Wade stated, waving his hands as he spoke, making stray pieces of lettuce and meat fall freely from his taco.

Wade sat there on the edge of a building, tapping his heels against the wall. He hummed a tune, watching the sun set. 

"Deadpool?" A familiar voice asked behind Wade. 

Wade turned around and grinned at a familiar character. 

"Madcap! Hey, old buddy old pal!" Wade exclaimed, nonchalantly tossing his half-eaten taco over the side of the building. 

[My stomach feels funny.]

**(Yeah well, the taco doesn't exactly pass the health inspection if said taco was from a shady guy running an old taco stand.)**

[Not  _that_ kind of funny.]

For a moment, Wade completely forgot about Peter. "So. Madcap. My man. The white box to my yellow box. How've ya been?" 

"I've been around, going places. But y'know, I'm not exactly a big shot." Madcap remarked, waving around his 'fun-gun' as he spoke.

Wade stood and faced Madcap. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, pal." Madcap answered wistfully.

So the two men walked along, Madcap telling Wade about all the missions he's been hired to do. Wade and him bonded. The two did have quite the chemistry. Granted, they didn't have that much in common, but the two got along well. 

A few weeks later, Peter sighed as he tossed his phone onto the bed. Wade wasn't answering his phone. Peter was worried. Why should he be? Wade goes on missions like this all the time. He comes back perfectly fine within a week or so. It's been far past one week. 

Reluctantly, Peter picked up his phone and dialed Wade's number again. It rang once, then went to voice mail. Peter decided to leave another message. 

"Hey, uh, Wade?" Peter asked, scratching the back of his neck and pacing the room nervously. "Listen, can you answer your phone? I'm getting worried. Thanks. Call me back." Peter cringed. He sounded so needy. 

These few weeks has been hell for Peter. Without Wade, Peter is more grumpy and that is affecting his school performance and his relationships with Aunt May and Mary Jane. He finds himself snapping at his aunt, and finds himself getting into more arguments with Mary Jane. Peter has no one to talk to with besides Wade. Without Wade, Peter seems helpless.

Another few days passed, and Peter decided to drop in at his apartment, full costume. In front of Wade's door, Peter drew a deep breath. After a few moments, he knocked. 

Immediately, Wade answered the door. He was in full costume, but it didn't look like he had any scratches or blood, like it usually is when he comes back from missions. His house smelled like Mexican food and dirt, as usual. But something seemed different. 

"Hey, Pete!" Wade grinned. "What have you been up to?"

Peter huffed incrediously. "You've been ignoring me for weeks, Wade. I was  _worried_ about you. I thought you got kidnapped, or- or-" Peter drew a deep breath. "I care about you Wade."

Wade stood there without emotion. "Okay."

" _Okay?_ " Peter trembled. "No, Wade. Everything is not  _okay_. You never answered my calls!"

"Who's at the door?" A different voice called from behind Wade. 

Peter's eyes narrowed. "Who's that?" 

"I gotta go, Pete." The mercenary said, closing the door. 

Peter put his foot in, keeping Wade from closing the door. Peter pushed passed Wade and burst into his apartment. There, on the couch, was a man in a costume. He wore a full costume, hiding his face. He wore a purple hat, the brim of the hat was long and made a mysterious aura around the man. He had a mini purple cape that stopped at his waist. His torso was half yellow fabric on the left, and half red and black striped fabric on the right. The legs of his costume were the same pattern as the torso, except the yellow fabric was on the right and the striped fabric was on the left. His boots were yellow. The man's mask was yellow, with blank white eyes. 

The man in the costume sat on Wade's couch, watching Golden Girls.

 "Who are you?" Peter growled, jealousy dripping from his voice. 

The man didn't look at Peter. "I'm Madcap. And you're the Amazing, Superior, Ultimate, Fantastic, Incredible Spiderman. You have a lot of titles."

"Don't look in his eyes, Pete." Wade said, walking behind Peter.

"Why?" Snapped Peter. 

Wade sat next to Madcap. "Because if you do, you'll go insane."

"Basically you'll be us for fifteen minutes." Madcap added. 

Peter's fists clenched at 'us'. What does he mean,  _us_? Are Madcap and Wade dating? Why didn't Wade tell Peter? Why was Peter feeling so jealous?!

"Watch Golden Girls with us, Pete!" Wade grinned, scooting over and patting the space next to him. 

"I think I should go." Peter said bitterly. 

Wade frowned. "Why? Come on, watch TV with us!"

"I think I should go spend time with my  _girlfriend_ ,  _Mary Jane_." Peter spat, attempting to make Wade jealous. 

"Oh." Wade muttered, hurt in his voice. "Well, Madcap and I will always be here. Hey! Did you know Madcap has a healing factor too?"

"I can't feel pain either." Madcap chimed. "So if Wade sticks a sword in my chest, then I won't feel a thing."

Peter growled, "Good for him. Bye, Wade."

"Bye Pete." Wade said, sounding a little disappointed. 

Peter left the apartment.


	8. Kissu Kissu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade confronts Peter about his attitude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREEEECH*  
> I HAD THIS WHOLE FRICKING CHAPTER DONE AND I SAVED IT AND IT JUST DIDN'T SAVE G FJEWB FKEJFNRNFJRNEKFNJKEN JKDENVJNFJDV
> 
> FUCKFUCKFUCXKFKCNVFIK 
> 
> SORRY IF IT'S NOT FUCKING GOOD BECAUSE I HAD TO REWRITE ALMOST EVERYTHINGNGRNFNKRGJR
> 
> By the way, how old do you guys think I am? Comment it and I'll post my age.

When Peter went into his bedroom back from Wade's apartment, he ripped his costume off, not caring about how much he was tearing it. Peter sobbed and threw himself on his bed. He doesn't know why he's this emotional. I mean, Madcap just has to be a friend. Right?

Peter felt as though Wade was being taken away from him. Peter felt like Wade belonged to Peter and Peter  _only_. 

After a few hours of thinking about Wade, Peter ultimately decided that he took a particular interest in Wade. He wasn't sure if he loved him yet, but he knew he cared more than a friend would. 

Peter groaned and tugged at his dark brown hair. Peter felt as though a war was taking place in his brain. He was so confused and lost, he wish he could just talk to someone. However, the only person he could talk to was Wade, and that wasn't an option. 

Peter watched his window and the night sky move. He wondered what Wade was doing. Then  _Madcap_ entered his mind. How dare Madcap take Wade away from Peter?! Who was  _Madcap_ anyway?! Wade never mentioned him before . . .

Eventually Peter fell asleep.

* * *

Peter webbed around the building, keeping an eye on a certain man running away from Peter. 

It was late fall, early winter time, a month since Peter has seen Wade. Peter didn't allow himself to see Wade. He ignored his calls, ignored the gifts Wade has left him, and ignored any mention or sign of Wade. He's grown aggressive: snapping at Aunt May, dropping his grades and ditching class. He's been ignoring Mary Jane, Harry and Gwen.

Peter webbed the man's foot and yanked him back towards him, not caring about the man's injuries.

"Give me that purse, you villain." Peter spat, towering over the man.

The villain sneered. "No way."

Peter webbed the criminal's hands to the sidewalk. At this point, civilians were gathering around Peter and the criminal. They were gawking, whispering and taking photos. 

Peter bent down to face the man personally. "I said: Give. Me. That. Purse."

In response, the criminal spat on Peter's mask, soaking through the mask and disgusting Peter. 

Peter stood, kicked the man in the groin and yanked the purse out of his hands. Anger boiled inside of Peter, so he decided to take it out on this criminal. Peter found himself throwing punches and kicking the man. Why shouldn't he get beat up like this? He's scum of the earth. He deserves this. 

Tears formed in Peter's eyes as he screamed and beat the man. The criminal could barely fight for himself, with one hand webbed to the sidewalk. Peter was too fast for the man to hit back. The criminal's face ended up looking unrecognizable as blood gushed from his nose and bruises appeared on his face. 

The civilians started to scream and protest, but Peter disregarded them.

Somone yanked back Peter away. 

"Peter, calm down!" A familiar voice commanded behind Peter. 

Peter turned around and saw Wade, holding Peter's wrist. 

Peter yanked his wrist free from Wade yelling, "Let go, Wade!" 

Peter ran away from the scene, webbing to the buildings and getting away. He breathed heavily and his throat felt dry. He could barely hold onto the buildings with the webs because his hands were so shakey. 

He got to the tallest building he could and perched on top. He yanked his mask off and choked a sob. Tears ran freely down his cheeks. Peter felt like punching someone over and over. It could be anyone. Especially Madcap. 

Peter sat at the edge of the building, sitting back with his palms pressed flat against the roof of the building. Peter felt so confused. Ever since he met Wade he knew things would be rough. Peter felt himself getting attracted to Wade, wnting to find out more about him. Wade was too psychotic, too dangerous and too murderous. 

"Peter?"

Peter turned and saw Wade approaching him, holding a Taco Bell bag.

"What do you want?" Grumbled the teen, looking away from Wade. 

"You're crying." Wade simply stated. Wade leaned towards Peter and wiped his tears away. 

Peter sniffled. "Just go away, Wade."

Wade handed Peter a napkin. "I don't like seeing you cry, Pete."

Peter took the napkin and blew his nose. "Uhh . . . Thanks, Wade."

The two shared an awkward silence. 

"So what's been up with you lately, Pete?" Wade asked. "You can tell me, I'm your friendly neighborhood mercenary!"

Peter chuckled. Even when Peter is sobbing like a baby, Wade manages to make him laugh. 

"Well . . . I was jealous." Peter answered, his breathing becoming short. 'Aw Jeeze.' Peter thought. 'Am I  _really_ having butterflies around Wade?'

"Is it my boxes?" Wade asked. 

Peter suddenly started blushing. "N-No. Because of Madcap."

Wade was in a scary silence for a moment, but then he burst out laughing. Peter felt a little embarrassed, but he managed a nervous laugh. 

" _Jealous_?" Wade laughed. "Of  _him_?" 

"What was I supposed to think?" Peter asked in an attempt to defend himself. "You ignored me for a week!"

"Remember when we went to Taskmaster's school?" Wade asked. "And you said you didn't like it when I didn't talk to you?"

"Yeah . . ."

Wade looked over at Peter. "And remember you left right after you saw Madcap and you ignored me for two weeks?"

"Oh." Peter said, with sudden realization of guilt. 

The teen sighed. "Wade, I'm sorry-"

"Pete, it's fine." Wade answered, holding up a hand. "Was I mad? Yes. Was I hurt? Yes. Did I masturbate to the thought of you? Of course! I could never stay mad at you, Pete."

Wade handed Peter a taco, and Peter happily bit into it. The two ate tacos together on a tall building, overlooking Manhattan. Peter finally felt at peace. 

"Wade?" Peter asked, putting down his taco. 

"What is it?" The mercenary asked, swallowing his taco. 

Peter drew a deep breath. "I . . . I think I love you."

[WOAH. RED FLAGS. RED FLAGS.]

"Nice joke, Pete." Wade said, nudging Peter playfully. 

"I'm not joking." Peter said. 

Wade frowned and looked at Peter. "You're . . . serious?"

"Does this prove it to you?" Peter asked, grabbing Wade's chin and pressing his lips to Wade's.

 **(Am I dreaming?)**  

For Peter, the kiss was brief and awkward, but ti was also one of the most amazing things he's ever experienced. 

"Wow." Peter breathed. 

"Couldn't have said it any better myself, Pete." Wade grinned. 

[I feel like I'm floating. Am I floating?]

Peter pulled him in for another kiss, except this time it was longer and more passionate. Wade's lips were scarred, so it felt interesting against Peter's lips. 

"What does this make us?" Peter asked. 

Wade grinned. "Anything you want it to be."

* * *

"Do it again." Wade urged. 

Peter giggled as he webbed the billboard to make the smiling blonde lady have a Santa beard. As soon as Peter did that, Wade and Peter burst out laughing. 

"I never liked that billboard anyway." Wade remarked. "Dumb pretty lady."

Peter laced his hands with Wade's. The two have been dating for one week, and so far, it's been magical. The two try to spend every moment with each other. It's almost like they've just met, and they want to talk about everything with each other. Ever since they started dating, both of their attitudes changed. Peter has been doing better in school he's talking to his friends again, he's talking with Aunt May, too. 

"So did you break up with Mary Jane yet?" Wade asked. 

Peter's shoulders sagged. "No."

"You should. The sooner the better." Wade answered.

Peter sighed. "Well. I gotta go to school, Wade." 

"Have fun!" He chimed before Peter got up and left.

Peter webbed his way to the apartment and stripped himself of the costume. He dressed up, ate breakfast, kissed Aunt May's cheek and left. Peter rode on his skateboard to school. Peter was turning 17 in a week. 

[Hey readers, how are you imagining Peter? Andrew Garfield version, Tobey Maguire, or someone else?]

 **(I'm imagining Logan Lerman.)**  

[Logan Lerman. Logan Lerman is good.]

School was a blur. Flash Thompson barely insulted Peter. Mary Jane was talking on and on, as usual. Wade was constantly in Peter's mind. Peter found himself glancing at the clock, waiting for school to end just so he can see Wade. 

As soon as the bell rang, Peter got on his skateboard and skateboarded out of school, ignoring the teachers' complaints. Peter skated down the street and all the way to his apartment, where he knew Wade would be waiting.

"PARKER!" A voice called. 

Peter, startled, yelped and tripped on his skateboard. From Peter's watch, appeared a hologram of Nick Fury. Peter cursed. He picked up his skateboard and made hisway to an alley. 

"What is it, Fury?" Peter demanded. "I'm running late."

"I'm calling all Avengers to a meeting. Come right now." Fury answered. 

Peter groaned. "But-"

"I don't care. Get your butt here, now." Fury growled before their call ended.

Peter sighed. He went over an crouched behind a dumpster. Peter changed into his costume and webbed himself to the Avengers Tower. 

Meanwhile, Wade was sitting in Peter's room. 

"Where is he?" Wade wondered aloud. 

 **(It's been two hours.)**  

[Well. This is it. Our love left us. Again.]

"For the billionth time." Wade grumbled. 

"Peter?" An old woman's voice asked outside of Peter's bedroom.

Wade cursed.

The door knob started to jiggle. 

Wade dove into Peter's bed and hid under the covers. The door opened and Aunt May chuckled. She then said something about teenagers and left. 

 **(That was a close one.)**  

"Hey, what's this?" Wade asked, face scrunching up when he felt something under Peter's pillow. It was a bottle. 

[Lotion?]

Wade pulled it out and started laughing. 

 **(IT'S LUBE.)**  

[It's also half empty.]

"So I wonder . . ." Wade mused. "Does Pete jack it, or does he fuck himself?"

 **(Wow. We should really write a fan fiction for that.)**  

[Too late.]

"Did you just give away a spoiler?" Wade asked, slipping the bottle of lube under the pillow. 

 


	9. Disapproval and Heart Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter decides it's time to break things off with Mary Jane, but Wade has other things in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Well Well. I am 14 years old. I have written smut before, so (it will happen) when I do write smut, please don't make fun of it. It may not be the best but whatever. 
> 
> And I'm thinking of doing other stuff. Like a Nellis (NickxEllis fanfic) or something. You guys can prompt something maybe. It won't be soon. 
> 
> (BTW I know I totally fit the stereotype of the lonely, fanfiction writer, yaoi fan, but ONLY TWO OF THOSE ARE TRUE. I have a boyfriend. And he's a science nerd. *cough cough I'M NOT DATING SPIDERMAN* And I like to grab his butt.) :D
> 
> And, when I was done with finals today, I sketched some spideypool. I got scolded by the boyfriend.
> 
> UPDATE: MERRY CHRISTMAS. OR WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE. I got Deadpool comics for Christmas. I already read them but shhhh. It'll make my parents happy if I act surprised. 
> 
> And I was planning to update it, so a few days ago I wrote a long ass chapter. AND THEN MY COMPUTER DECIDED TO UPDATE ITSELF, DESTROYING MY WORK. SO I SCREAMED AND LEFT FOR A FEW DAYS. 
> 
> Now I'm back. It could've been better. But whatever.
> 
> And it was going to be a smut fic too. *pout*

Peter drew a deep breath. He picked up his phone and started to call Mary Jane. He wanted to see her in person to break things off. It'd be totally rude of him to do it over the phone. Peter switched from picking up the phone, to dropping it on the bed. 

'I have to break up with her.' Peter thought. 'It wouldn't be right if I just cheated on her throughout the rest of the relationship.'

Peter groaned and sat on the bed. Peter knew that breaking up with her was the right thing, but he just wasn't sure how to approach it. He's been pacing in his room holding his phone for a few hours now. He saw Mary Jane today, and Peter thought about how happy and naive she looked. 

He wanted to call Wade and ask for advice, but Peter knew he was on a mission for three days. Calling Wade would either a) put him in a dangerous position or b) annoy him. And surprisingly, yes. It's very possible to annoy Wade Wilson, a.k.a. the Merc with a Mouth. And you can only do that by talking about his scars, his past, or if you call him while he's in mid-battle.

Peter drew a deep breath and decided to dump Mary Jane. He dialed her number and waited. After a ring, she picked up.

"Hey, Peter!" Mary Jane greeted. Peter bit his lip softly at how happy she sounded.

"Uh, hey. C-Can you meet me at my apartment as soon as possible?" Peter asked, sitting on his bed and running a hand through his dark hair. 

Mary Jane hesitated. "Why?"

"We need to talk." Peter simply answered. 

Mary Jane hung up. 

Peter waited, sitting on his bed, hiding his face in his hands. When his door opened, his head snapped up immediately. 

Mary Jane looked worried. Of course she would. Usually, Peter wouldn't call her for any emotional support. peter liked to handle things himself. This time was different. Peter sounded sad, and guilty.

Mary Jane sat in Peter's desk chair. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about, Peter?"

Suddenly, Peter's throat felt like sand, his lungs and heart felt heavy and he got goosebumps. 

"I think we should break it off." Peter croaked. 

Mary Jane immediately frowned. "B-But why?"

Peter hesitated. "Well . . . there's someone else."

Mary Jane's sad look was replaced with an angry one. "You were  _cheating_ on me?! With who?!"

"Deadpool." Peter answered, moistoning his lips. 

"WHAT?!" Snapped Peter's ex-girlfriend as she stands up. "You told me you guys weren't dating!"

"We weren't." Reasurred Peter. "If wasn't until I realised my feelings for him, and the feelings he had for me."

"What about  _me_?!" Mary Jane demanded. "That wasn't fair of you to sneak off behing my back and ignore me like that! And this is what I get for being a loving girlfriend?!"

"I'm sorry." Peter answered. "But I think you should leave, before you embarrass yourself anymore."

 Mary Jane huffed and glared at Peter. "Me?! Embarrassing myself? You're the one in the wrong here, Peter."

Mary Jane stormed out of the apartment, and all Peter could do was watch. 

Once in her apartment, Mary Jane broke down in tears and ran to her room, ignoring her concerned mother's calls. Mary jane flopped onto her bed and sobbed. All the memories that she and Peter shared raced through her head. 

After a while of sobbing and self-pity, Mary Jane ultimately decided not to feel bad for herself anymore. Anger filled Mary Jane. 

How dare he? How dare Peter Parker throw away all the chemistry and history they shared? Did Peter ever think about all the times Mary Jane had to lie for him? All the hours she wasted waiting for him? All those nights at her window, hoping hel'll drop by? Did he throw all that away from some psycho mercenary? 

Anrgy, Mary Jane picked up her phone and dialed a number that she'd never thought she'd call.

* * *

A few days after the incident, Peter and Wade were sitting on Wade's couch, watching the news. usually, they got together to watch J. Jonah Jameson bitch about Peter. It was surprisingly amusing for the pair. 

"I'm getting some nachos." Wade muttered before standing up and walking to the kitchen. 

Suddenly, Jameson said something that struck a chord with Peter. Peter sat up and turned up the volume.

"-Spiderman and Deadpool!" J. Jonah Jameson shouted at the TV. 

Wade walked back and sat next to Peter with a large plate full of nachos topped with jalapenos. 

"What's flat head saying this time?" Wade asked, pulling up his mask and stuffing a few nachos in his mouth.

Peter shushed Wade and listened to the television. 

"Daily Bugle got a call from a woman who wishes to remain anonymous. She claims that the vigilante Spiderman is now in a romantic relationship with the psychotic mercenary  _Deadpool_!" Jameson exclaimed, Peter noticed a vein on his forehead, a clear sign of stress and anger. "Who knows what these two villains are planning?" Jameson continued. "New York, I need  _you_ to call Daily Bugle with  _any_ information on Spiderman or Deadpool!"

Wade turned off the TV. 

"Oh  _great_." Peter groaned. Peter ate some nachos. 

 **(could be worse.)**  

"Yeah." Wade agreed. "It could be worse, Pete."

Peter sighed. "Can I stay here for tonight?"

[Sure thing, Logan Lerman-Tobey Maguire-Tom Daley-Andrew Garfield-Danny Devito]

 **(However the readers are imagining you.)**  

"No problem, Pete." Wade replied. 

 Wade threw an arm around Peter, and turned on Golden Girls. 

"-And that one is Estelle Getty." Wade rambled. "My fave is Bea Arthur. She kinda looks like your Aunt May! And then that's Rue McClanahan. Wasn't she in the Hunger Games?" 

Silence. 

"Pete?"

Wade looked down to find a sleeping hero in his arms. Wade smiled faintly. He scooped Peter up in his arms and headed towards the bedroom. He gently rest Peter on one side of the bed. Wade took off his katanas and his utility belt. Wade slipped into pajamas and slept next to Peter, falling asleep to the sound of his heart beat.

When Wade woke up, there was a commotion in the kitchen. The smell of bacon, sausages and eggs hung in the air. Wade stretched and got up. When he walked to the kitchen, he found a plate full of breakfast and Peter cleaning up the kitchen. 

"I don't remember having those in my fridge." Wade warily said.

"You don't." Peter agreed. "That's why I went out and bought some stuff. I also have cleaning supplies. Your place is disgusting."

Wade smirked. "Does that mean you want to live here?"

Peter stopped. "W-Well . . . not necessarily . . . I will be visiting a lot more often now that we're dating . . ."

"Mhmm." Wade hummed. He sat at the counter and started eating. 

Wade found it absolutely adorable how despite Peter's position in authority over Manhattan, he was still that down to Earth nerd named Peter Parker. 

"I gotta go to work." Peter sighed. 

Wade groaned. "But Peeeeeeeeeete!"

"I know." Peter mumbled. Peter kissed Wade's bald head. "Bye, Wade."

* * *

"Sorry I'm late!" Cried Peter as he burst through the set of heavy wooden doors. 

Fury sighed, clenching the bridge of his nose. "You gotta stop coming in late. It's been half an hour."

"I know, I'm sorry." Peter mumbled, sitting down and fumbling with his web shooters. 

"What were you doing?" Fury snapped. 

Peter blushed. "I-I . . . none of your business."

Fury raised an eyebrow, and Peter cowered in his seat a little. 

"I will ask you again. Where. Were. You?" Fury asked dangerously. 

"I was at Wade's, alright?" Peter burst out. "Sue me!"

Clint snorted. 

"About that . . ." Steve said. "We want you to break up with him, son."

Peter's eyes widened. "What?!"

"It's for the best-" Natasha started. 

"Hey! You guys should check my birth certificate, because it clearly states that you guys are not my parents!" Peter snapped. 

Tony sighed. "Look kid. We just think he's a bad influence-"

"Look who's talking!" Peter snapped. After realizing what he just said, he faltered. "Sorry."

"S'fine." Tony muttered. 

Steve narrowed his eyes. "Tony, are you drunk?"

"Maybe!" Tony growled. "What's it to you, spangles?"

"Enough!" Fury yelled, quieting the room. 

"Parker!" Fury snapped. "This meeting is about  _you_ and Deadpool. All we're recommending is that you be careful. That guy is not safe and he's psychotic. Do you understand me?"

"Yes sir." Peter said through clenched teeth. 

"Good." Fury grumbled. "Now everyone get to work!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend wants to dress up like Spiderman then he said I could be Lady Deadpool. Sad fact is: I'M NOT WHITE. I'M MEXASIAN.
> 
> And he's a blondie. But he has Andrew Garfield hair.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of your comments are hilarious. It's 2 in the morning, I have a tournament on Saturday, but pshh. Spideypool is far more important. 
> 
> I was going to end this on a smut note, but I'm too lazy. This is the last chapter. I was doing so awful at this fic. I have a kid!spideypool fic back at my profile. It's uber cute. My heart will explode from all the cuteness. It includes stonyyyyyy. 
> 
> This will be a short chapter. I think. 
> 
> And I think I love the theme of Wade leaving Peter. GOD THIS FIC WAS AWFUL. 
> 
> And wuh-eva. I'm not young. I'm mature for my age. My mommy says so!
> 
> [You're obviously not mature if you still call your mom 'mommy'.]
> 
> I stand incorrect.

Three Months. 

Every time Peter's phone rang, every time he saw a shape otside his window, there was that tiny part of him that hoped it was Wade. The first few weeks Wade has left, Peter was wallowing in self pity, wondering what he did wrong, replaying every moment that he and Wade had shared. The next few weeks, Peter struggled to forget Wade. It affected his performance in being Spiderman. He was snapping at his team mates and not going to meetings. He wondered what had happened to Wade. Eventually, Peter grew angry and resentful, promising to not accept Wade back into his life, no matter what. And with that in his mind, he forgot about Wade. 

Until now. 

Peter was just doing some spring time cleaning when he found a coupon for Taco Bell that had expired four months ago. With just that one reminder, Peter broke down crying. 

Wade hadn't even said goodbye. Everything was going great, until Wade had suddenly disappeared. Did Wade get killed? Was Wade kidnapped?

Peter crawled into his bed and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

"So dizzy." Wade murmured to himself. His ears were ringing and he was seeing double. It was like he had just woken up from a hangover. Wade's throat felt dry and his tongue felt like cotton. His back hurt, his everything hurt. It felt like his whole body was roasted over a fire. When Wade moved in the slightest, his body stung. 

"Guys, my boxes, are you there?" Wade croaked. 

Silence. 

Wade flexed his muscles, trying to break free of the bonds. Wade winced. 

"Try not to struggle." A careful voice said above Wade. "You lost your cancer. And your healing factor. You're a bit fragile, at the moment. The stinging feeling will go away at any moment, now."

The man was right. The constant pain Wade felt, the constant feeling of tumors and his scarred skin shifting around the surface of his skin . . . it was gone. 

"Thank you, Mr. Wilson." The voice said, untying the bonds that was keeping Wade down against the cold, metal table. "You are free to go. And no need to thank me. You don't realize it, but you've done amazing things for me and everyone else."

Wade's vision cleared. He was face to face with a bright light. It was like he was at the dentist's office. The faint taste of copper, the bright light, and the disgusting, overly clean smell. He was in a small, concrete room. The man's face was hidden, but he was tall, and had a huge head. He wore scrubs and a doctor's mask. His eyes were glowing white and his bald head shone in the light.

Wade sat up slowly. He was wearing boxer shorts.  _Great_. Wade thought.  _Way to keep it kid friendly. Why not describe my big_ schlong? 

Wade's eyes widened. "M-My skin! The scars! They're gone!"

Wade's skin was tanned slightly. He felt like a supermodel. He couldn't believe this! He was healed!

"Boy, is Pete going to be happy when he sees me! Can I have my costume, doctor?" Wade asked. 

* * *

"Wakey wakey, Baby Boy!" A familiar voice said. 

Peter groaned. "Not now, Aunt May. It's Saturday!"

Wade giggled, then he grabbed a pillow, and smacked Peter with it. 

Peter sat up and nearly had a heart attack. Standing at the side of his bed, in full costume, was The Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool. Peter thought he was dreaming. No way was this real. 

"W-Wade?" Peter asked breathless. 

Wade grinned trhough his mask. "Hey, Pete! How've you been?"

Peter grew angry. "How've I been?  _How've I been?_ "

"Ookay." Wade said, putting his hands up. "You're mad. Look, I get it, I ditched you, but I have a special surprise-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Peter shouted. "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"But Pete-"

"Go." Peter growled. 

Wade grabbed the bottom of his mask and took it off. 

"Peter, look! I left for you! I found a person who could heal me an dtake away my immortality for you!" Wade cried, tears forming in his eyes. 

Peter didn't say anything, he just stared at Wade like his life depended on Wade.

"If I didn't do this, you would live a full life, and be an old man, and die without me. I would live on without you." Wade said. "You wouldn't want this. And I always wanted to die. Now we can live together, Pete."

Peter lept up from the bed and wrapped his amrs around Wade's neck. Peter sobbed and clung onto Wade. 

"I love you, Wade." Peter choked. 

Wade smiled and rubbed Peter's back. "I love you too, Pete. 

Peter's bedroom door opened. Aunt May stood there, looking confused. 

"Peter?" Aunt May asked. "Who's that?"

Peter smiled and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Aunt May, this is my boyfriend, Wade."

Aunt May smiled. "Well,  _Wade_. Are you just going to stand there or are you going to join us for breakfast?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 90% sure my house is haunted BTW. I live in New Mexico. My mum told me that our house is on top of a Native American village. C'mon! We got Buddhist monks to bless our house. The ghosts that were the most active moved to our neighbors house. (TAKE THAT, LAUREN!) But I think some of them chill out in our backyard. For some reason, they like stacking these really heavy rocks on top of each other. I think it's nice to have some company, dead or alive.
> 
> And I said this MIGHT be the last chapter. Don't get your thong in a wad if I update after this.


End file.
